The first night that we spent at home in our flat as a family of 3 was interesting to say the least. I was so glad to have finally left the hospital after being in there for an entire week, but we were suddenly on our own with this tiny human being that now solely depended on us. Luckily, on the first evening at home my mum and my little brother, Joe, came to visit which I know a lot of people say they didn’t like(having family around the house so soon after they leave the hospital) but I actually loved it!
Once they left, Jack, Tyler and I stayed in the living room all night. Myself on the sofa, Tyler in his Moses basket and Jack on the floor. At just a few days old, Tyler was feeding every 2 hours or so which was absolutely exhausting. At around 2am, Jack insisted that I went to bed to get some real sleep as by this point I’d been awake for almost four entire days! So off I went to get some shut eye for a couple of hours. Luckily, we had moved on from breastfeeding to bottle feeding when Tyler was just two days old, so Jack was able to take over the feeding. If I hadn’t been able to have that proper couple of hours sleep, then I don’t think I’d have been able to stand up right the next day!
The next couple of nights were mostly the same, nobody really got any proper sleep! Thankfully, after just a couple of weeks, Tyler began to sleep from about 11pm-6/7am each night, which after a couple of weeks of running on caffeine and 1 or 2 hours shut eye, was like heaven! He’s since started going to bed a little earlier, sometimes even shortly after 7pm! Hopefully when the 4 month sleep regression decides to show up, we won’t suffer too badly!
Being pregnant and giving birth really does throw your hormones out of whack. Oh hormones, don’t you just love them! When Tyler was around 5 days old, the baby blues hit me hard. I began to get really emotional whenever I thought about Tyler’s birth and even found myself teary for no specific reason. As much as I was reassured that this baby blues period was normal in the first few weeks, I found that the overwhelming sense of feeling low seemed to persist and worsen as the weeks went by. I think I’d prefer to write a dedicated post on mental health and post natal depression, but for now, I’ll just say that mentally, looking after a newborn baby is hard work. It’s hard work without feeling like you’re a rubbish mum and a complete failure and so with the added pressure I was putting on myself to feel “normal,” it made the first eight weeks or so really emotionally draining and honestly? Pretty un-enjoyable. *Mum guilt, mum guilt, mum guilt*
Nobody can prepare you for a having a baby. I’m sure you’ve probably heard that one a million times by now but it’s so true. No amount of reading or group sessions can truly prepare you for the ways that your life is about to change. Sure, the research and the discussions help, but being that each baby is completely different, each parents journey is going to vary as well.
Thankfully I’m starting to feel a lot better about my parenting journey and life in general. Like I said, I’d prefer to go into the nitty gritty details of it all in a separate post just dedicated to the subject, so if that’s something you’d be interested in reading, keep your eyes peeled!