You may, or may not, have noticed that I’ve not shared a blog post in a couple of weeks now. At the beginning of June, I felt really positive and upbeat about Love, Maisie and everything surrounding it, but as the days went on, I slowly started to feel.. let’s call it “the fog”, creep up on me.
If you’re a creative type, you’ll no doubt have experienced the fog multiple times in your life. The fog is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. A heavy blur hovering over your mind and creeping into every nook and cranny it can find.
Blogging is the one thing in my life that I have never abandoned. I’ve never loved a “hobby” so much and this said hobby is now also a job too, which is incredible, but recently I’ve been very, very close to putting the entirety of Love, Maisie to bed. I’ve seen a lot of this sort of talk over on Twitter from lots of other bloggers too so I know I’m not alone in feeling the way that I do, but it does still suck, quite hard.
When I am feeling this way, one of the only things that stops me from hitting that “delete” button is the fact that my blog holds so many memories. I’ve documented the last 5 years of my life on here and had some amazing opportunities along the way too and a little part of me will always be so grateful for that and grateful of past me for deciding to write the things I have written too.
I mentioned a couple of posts back that I was in the middle of writing a piece all about why social media is ruining blogging for me but I’m really struggling to finish it, so I thought I’d touch upon it in this post for now instead. It is SO hard not to compare yourself to others on the internet. SO damn hard. I try my very best not to compare my life, my feeling, my hair, my body etc to everything I see on my Instagram feed. I know that social media is mostly just a highlight reel and that these people behind the photographs also have their struggles too. Something that I’ve been trying my best not to do, but failing as of late, is comparing my numbers/stats/engagement etc to others, particularly bloggers.
I started this blog over five years ago now and things were so unbelievably different back then, especially when it comes to social media. For one, there weren’t as many people writing blogs in 2013 as there are now. Of course, the fact that there are so many more amazing blogs out there to read now is AMAZING, but it does also mean that I stumble upon more and more blogs to compare myself to and I really don’t know how to get out of this rut.
My page views are rapidly decreasing, even though I’ve been producing content that I’m super proud of and have enjoyed creating. My follower counts are stagnant and 90% of all my engagement is due to group chats and comment pods, which although is really still genuine engagement, does sometimes feel forced(you all know that “great post, love it” comments don’t you). It’s really disheartening.
Like my last heart to heart post, this blog post doesn’t really have a conclusion as I’m still sat under the fog and trying to figure out what I’m doing and where I’m going, but I really just needed a rant and after all, this is my corner of the internet that I have full control over what I post, so why not use it to share how I’m REALLY feeling.
Until next time.